That lowly feeling!

It’s with me for years now.
However hard I try I am unable to get rid of this weird of feeling.

I think too lowly of myself. 😦
I never feel that I am superior to others.
I just think I am capable of doing this.
JUST that.
I never even once think that I can/will do “it” better than others. 😕
I don’t know why, but I always find myself feeling that people around me are able to perform things in a more efficient manner than me.

I am writing this post early morning because I woke up just now and could clearly remember a dream (or a nightmare) while brushing my teeth!

(Another weird thing about me, while sleeping I dream almost daily.
And unlike many, I remember most of my dreams clearly! 😛
If I write about my dreams I can write another BIG post.)

So I remember today in my dream I was back in my trekking shoes.
And our madam was shouting at me to climb the hill as fast as possible.
The hill was full of big rocks. And I tried really hard. But my foot was slipping continuously. All others who were with me, had now reached at the top. And were showing me their sympathetic faces.
(Boy! That was scary!) 😐
The dream ended with my ‘ultra-screaming’ alarm!
(Boy! That’s scary again!)  😯 😯 😯

So, in all dear readers, you must have realized that the ‘lowly’ feeling doesn’t leave me while sleeping too!

I even do F9 twice on my post to check if anything is wrongly spelled.
If anyone says I am doing something wrong more than once, I take utmost care to avoid repeating it.

I don’t know why I am like this.
In spite of all my achievements till date, I wonder will I ever, for even a day, feel that “I am the best and ignore the rest!”

My folks say I am just plainly too modest. (That sounds cool 😎 )
May be that’s true.
But it’s still kind of weird when I see people with mediocre talents or nothing-extraordinary personalities behaving as though they are the Kings & Queens of the World and go on pretending to be best and throwing tantrums at others. 😡

Thus, the lowly feeling does nothing ‘bad’ to me.
But, it surely disturbs…

Now I am sipping the hot coffee and thinking…Main aisi kyu hoon! 😉


2 thoughts on “That lowly feeling!

  1. Partial same pinch !!

    I do feel everybody is better than me. There is no thing of being modest with me. I tried being better, and found people even more better. But I never felt ‘lowly’. Confidence is something I never discovered in myself. I never felt confidence leads to happiness. I’m happy, more than many people around me. I always believed no confidence is better than over confidence.

    Hope you get out of the feeling and disturbances 😉

  2. 10 on 10 for that comment Mannu! 😀

    It’s actually not disturbing.
    It’s kind of funny.
    The ‘Am I an alien?’ type of feel. 😛

    And that way I find people like you & I differing from others. 😛

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